Wife - says and means

The  wife says: You want
The wife means: You want  

The wife says: We need
The wife means: I  want

The wife says: It's your decision
The wife means: The  correct decision should be obvious

The wife says: Do what you want
The wife means:  You'll pay for this later

The wife says: We need to talk
The wife means: I need  to complain

The wife says: Sure... go ahead
The wife means: I  don't want you to

The wife says: I'n not upset
The wife means: Of  course I'm upset you moron

The wife says: You're ... so manly
The wife means:  You need a shave and sweat a lot

The wife says: Be romantic, turn out the lights
The  wife means: I have flabby thighs.

The wife says: This kitchen is so inconvenient
The  wife means: I want a new house.

The wife says: I want new curtains.
The wife means:  Also carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper!

The wife says: I need wedding shoes.
The wife means:  The other forty pairs are the wrong shade of white.

The wife says: Hang the picture there
The wife means:  No, I mean hang it there!

The wife says: I heard a noise
The wife means: I  noticed you were almost asleep.

The wife says: Do you love me?
The wife means: I'm  going to ask for something expensive.

The wife says: How much do you love me?
The wife  means: I did something today you're not going to like.

The wife says: I'll be ready in a minute.
The wife  means: Kick off your shoes and take an hour nap.

The wife says: Am I fat?
The wife means: Tell me I'm  beautiful.

The wife says: You have to learn to communicate.
The  wife means: Just agree with me.

The wife says: Are you listening to me?
The wife  means: [Too late, your doomed.]

The wife says: Yes
The wife means:  No

The wife says: No
The wife means:  No

The wife says: Maybe
The wife means:  No

The wife says: I'm sorry
The wife means: You'll be  sorry

The wife says: Do you like this recipe?
The wife  means: You better get used to it

The wife says: All we're going to buy is a soap  dish
The wife means: I'm coming back with enough to fill this  place.

The wife says: Was that the baby?
The wife means: Get  out of bed and walk him

The wife says: I'm not yelling!
The wife means: Yes I  am! I think this is important!

In answer to the question "What's  wrong?"

The wife says: The same old thing.
The wife means:  Nothing.

The wife says: Nothing.
The wife means:  Everything.

The wife says: Nothing, really.
The wife means: It's  just that you're an idiot.

The wife says: I don't want to talk about it.
The  wife means: I'm still building up steam.